Bewitched Employer Seeks Help
It’s a cruel world we are living in. Even big corporations can’t afford to gamble with people who will not perform in an expected manner. It was the gloomiest of all days when one small manager of a big corporation realized he needed a (wo)man.
Let me tell you a story about John, the hiring manager. He had a really big mystery to solve. A company our John worked for, had a very expensive problem: employees were leaving. It was the acute state of corporate illness known as high employee turn over. You can even say that company was High, and employees were Low.
Well, John had to deal with this discrepancy. He got so obsessed with this issue that he completely neglected everything else, he was consumed. Even after giving his best efforts, it was just not enough. There was nothing he could do to cure this situation. He suffered from sleep deprivation, his cholesterol was shooting through the roof, stress was unbearable, his wife even threatened to leave him. In other words, it was time to find somebody who knew the answers. He was going to find a consultant who will know what to do.
After presenting his case to many traditional consultants he was no closer to the solution. John was desperate. Now he was having regular hair pulling sessions throughout the day. I don’t have to tell you that he did not look too good. On the bright side he could save some money on a hairdresser for the rainy days to come (when he will be fired for his inefficiency) .
One Tuesday, after his lunch break, he had an idea: let’s ask Google. The Google will know. He opened the famous search page and typed in his worries in the search box. When his eyes hit the results it was obvious why he was helpless before. People who know, have very colorful professions, like: astrologist, palm reader, graphologist, etc. After reviewing the services these fortune telling consultants provided he discovered that the graphologists are the most practical of all. He thought it would be suspicious if he asked for the photocopy of somebody’s palm in order to review a job application. Probably he was right. Right?
John asked for handwritten applications which he just forwarded to his chosen graphologist. Who gets the job is a decision John does not need to make anymore. It was so easy and elegant for John. He was a new man, happy and smiling all the time. Soon the news about this new selection technique spread and became widely used. It seems that John was notalone, many had the same problem, he just didn’t know about the others. He decided to share more in the future and not keep things locked inside. Anyway, that is what his graphologist told him to do.
It is so nice when stories have happy endings. What do you think happened to John in the end? I will tell you soon.
Do you think it is fair to use graphologists? Would you feel comfortable knowing that you will not be judged by your credentials but by scientifically unrecognized techniques?
Unfortunately, some corporations employ self-proclaimed handwriting analysts to decide on your future. That is why in a way these experts are fortune tellers for some of us.
There is one very good article on graphology that you can read if you are interested. It is by a university professor, Barry L. Beyerstein, Ph.D., famous for studying con artists. It is a serious text, but humorous nonetheless. My favorite part is:
While there are some concepts common to most systems of handwriting analysis, there are equally notable disputes as to what the various “signs” mean. Take, for instance, two books by internationally known graphologists that I reviewed: one considers a certain way of crossing t’s indicative of a vicious, sadistic temperament, the other says it’s a sign of a practical joker. Which do you hope is advising your boss?
Before submitting your handwritten job application make sure your handwriting does not look like these samples of notorious criminals. You can also check out the legal implications of graphology: http://www.wulaw.wustl.edu/WULQ/75-3/753-6.html
In the end, what happened to our John? He went on to become a CEO.
Hope you enjoyed my story and see you soon.
Yes, you are right. Although, i believe that there are still a number of companies out there asking for hand written job applications just because of having “old-school” hiring managers. In a couple of cases where I have applied for a job and hand written application was requested, I submitted normal, printed cover letter and resume, with partial success in getting an interview though.
Hello Patrick, welcome to Career Fitness Blog.
You were smart not to send your handwriting, just in case the hiring people were looking for something above your credentials. I always tell my clients to be very careful when they are asked to handwrite anything. Even if you are in for an interview and they give you something to fill in. Just don’t get paranoid. Sometimes company asks for handwritten application just because it is trendy or somebody else is doing it. Recently, I was asked to review some handwritten applications… I am no graphologist and they did not plan to consult one.